Anxiety Trials is a Pokemon Special sandbox RP. We are a friendly, no-fuss site where you don't have to worry about posting 24/7, but when you've got the muse. We are based loosely around the Pokemon Special/Adventures manga, though set in a slightly alternate universe. If you're looking for a fun place to explore what life with Pokemon would be like, hopefully we're the place for you!
★ Shoutbox ★
Come say hello
★ Recent ★
4th Feb 14
As those of you who have been with us for a while can see, we've done some updating on the site. To our new membes, welcome! We've reverted to our original name and are going to move forward with six month! See all our new, updated summaries in the "Need to Knows" section for a full run-down on what has happened!
★ Census ★
Our citizens
breeders
♂01
♀02
coordinators
♂00
♀00
dex holders
♂06
♀03
elites
♂02
♀00
gym leaders
♂01
♀02
knights
♂06
♀05
rangers
♂00
♀03
researchers
♂02
♀01
trainers
♂04
♀03
★ Weather ★
Feb, March, April
Snow is starting to melt in most regions, they are beginning to see Spring
ANXIETY TRIALS was created by Fate. The skin which includes the Board Mod, Mini Profile and Sidebar are created by Dorothia @ Adoxography. The tabbed sidebar was created by kimset of RPG D'. Plug ins were made by their respective PB Support member. All other information which includes but is not limited to, Character Plots, Character Applications and more belong to their rightful owner. Pokemon/Pokemon Special is the property of Nintendo.
What better place to call home than someone else's abandoned shack? True, there wasn't much class to it, but for someone who was consistently homeless, living somewhere with four walls and a roof over his head was something different and somewhat familiar altogether. It was no five star hotel, heck, most of the things were still askew from the recent turmoil the region had suffered, and Azel hadn't bothered to clean up anything, not when he knew he would have to leave eventually. The door was tilted on it's hinges, the lock had broken long ago, everything was on the floor, anything that wasn't had bits and pieces missing.
Newbark town was abandoned, other than a few roaming pokemon but such did not concern the thief. He had ambled back to his abode, in flight with a certain Skarmory he had recently acquired, after an unfortunate accident. He was grateful enough that he had left unscathed, save for deep marks and bruises that still showed around his waist where the Serperior had coiled around him, but overall he still had his bodily functions.
Azel lay spread eagle on the dusty carpeted floor, uncaring for the moment as he breathed out. It was more a ritual, although most times he didn't have the luxury to do it on soft surfaces, he did it anyway. Why? Pfft, as if he'd tell just anyone.
She didn't have much of a choice, as much as she would have liked to dispose of one of her main problems back in the cafe, her boss wouldn't allow it. Frustrating, to say the least. That was old news. Anna was rarely visited Johto-- now especially, its conditions did not fit her preference. She wasn't too picky, but someone about living in a construction area didn't seem appealing. Some, however, would disagree. Azel was one of them.
Flying to the region hadn't been too difficult, not when it might as well have been considered an evicted neighbor. She knew his hiding spot-- it had come up months ago, in quick conversation. Anna had never gone out of her way to visit until now. She recalled the Charizard as her hesitant feet landed in the rubble, the stray debris making her unsure of her footing. Lafayette was at her waist, in the ball, but just as dangerous. She would use him again if she had to.
Not to mention the camouflaged lizard she had obtained from her boss. Some sort of security gift. She appreciated it more than she would show; the thing would be trailing behind her as she approached her destination. She could be considered nervous, if she ever confessed to feeling such an unnecessary emotion.
Two knocks on the chipped door frame. That would be enough. She wouldn't wait for him to answer, letting herself in instead.
He hadn't expected her, he didn't expect anyone to come after him. He scrambled to his feet at her voice, heart pounding from surprise. Practically rolling on himself to get to his feet, he lay crouched on the floor, looking like a startled Meowth ready to flee at a moment's notice. There was something to be blamed about the false sense of security in the forsaken house, shit, he was never hiding out here ever again. Course, it was he himself that had let slip the scrap of information, he had said it with little after thoughts, because, really, what was the chance of Anna actually seeking him out?
Pretty high apparently.
"Come to finish the job?" He said lowly, some disgruntled contempt making itself obvious.
Some part of him knew that he shouldn't be angry, when he had played her as much as Fernando had, but he was, and that cold chill couldn't be stop from running through his body. Manic energy was trapped in him now, and he just had to let, to do something.
"No." The answer was quick, short, immediate; typical. She had to remind herself that this was not Fernando she was speaking to. She wouldn't get any more than a 'why' with this one. Anna would take her chance to answer the question before it could be asked. "Not in the sense you would think. You planned something. Why." Her voice stayed flat as her face remained expressionless. Now was not the time to think with her emotions. She took a few more steps inside the 'home', anything but relaxed. She was half expecting him to give her 'a taste of her own medicine', to show her how it felt to be restricted.
She could be lying. That was his first thought. Normally, such a curt answer would only entice an even stricter disposition. But this wasn't normal. So he felt himself slump a little on the floor, the ache that ran all over his body suddenly painfully there once again. "Fernando... Hasn't explained, has he?" He asked carefully, an amused smile on his lips. "And you think I started this? This... This is fucking hilarious."
Some part of him knew that he shouldn't be angry, when he had played her as much as Fernando had, but he was, and that cold chill couldn't be stop from running through his body. Manic energy was trapped in him now, and he just had to let it out, something, anything. The most he could do was clench his fist and snarl out unintelligibly. "AND YOU EXPECT ME TO JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT?"
Another one sided screaming match. Just what she had come here for. Anna was always patient when it came to shouting, but with her skin crawling already... she doubted she would be able to keep her calm facade going for too long
She would frown at his question, gears turning too much for words. You're extremely incompetent, Anna. Except it wasn't his reminder. It was her own.
"I don't see the humor in it."
The words were said carefully, as if she was wary of them reaching him. She doubted they would matter much anyway. The frozen mood in the room they occupied was putting her on edge, and he wasn't helping. She would not be scolded. Not by him.
"I NEVER SAID THAT."
Shocking, to say the least. How had she snapped so easily, so quickly? Perhaps she was the brittle, dry twig Fernando made her out to be. She would blame exhaustion. It wouldn't happen again. Anna Gully did not shout. Not for Azel, not for Fernando, not for herself. Was she really so worn down that she would result to some sort of primal means of communication? It was unsettling. She took a breath, eyes closing before reopening in a glare directed at the raven-haired boy.
"Still going on about that? YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT." Came the harsh answer. His voiced seemed louder the encased room, angrier, frustrated that he couldn't even lie to himself that he wasn't. She was trying to be calm, he was trying not to explode. It was only a matter of time before one of them failed. "YOU CAME HERE LOOKING FOR ANSWERS. ANSWERS YOU THINK I'LL GIVE YOU. WHAT PART OF THAT DOESN'T SOUND EXPECTING?"
"YOU. YOU. YOU. YOU TREAT ME LIKE THAT AND EXPECT ME TO JUST ROLL OVER?! OH YES ANNA, HE SAYS HE WANTS MY HEAD ON HIS WALL? SURE THING, LEMME GO DECAPITATE MYSELF TO SAVE YOU THE TROUBLE. DID YOU WANT SOME CREAM AND SUGAR WITH THAT?" He threw his arms in the air angrily, turning around and stomping all over the room, yet never taking a step towards Anna. He knew he couldn't fight her, not head on like this, it was better to stay away. But that anger was still there, propelling him to do something.
So instead he punched the decaying wall, stifling the grunt of pain as he took a moment to breathe again. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. AND YET YOU KNOW HIM BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE. YOU FIGURE IT OUT."
She flinched at his voice, taking a breath to refrain from responding in the same manner. "Thank you for reiterating such." She'd play him off as long as she could take it.
It was possible that Anna knew what he was talking about-- some part of her subconscious was screaming answers at her, dangling them right below her nose. They were hers to take, but she didn't want to find out, not from Azel, not yet. She wanted to deny the existence of the truth, impossible as it was. "The sides aren't necessary." Even in her position she had the shred of dignity to give him thick sarcasm.
She watched him flit about, her eyes never leaving his figure. Passing moments were making it increasingly difficult to retain herself. Understand Fernando? Hardly. It would be another thing she would deny. "I'm curious as to why you signed up, not what you signed up for. Calm the fuck down before I finish what he started."
The bite wasn't natural. Then again, neither was her search.
"FINE, I didn't have any cream or sugar anyway." Was the childish reply, along with an angry huff, with soon turned into a pant from all the pent up energy. Sarcasm or not, he couldn't help but notice that she hadn't denied that she might just be around to cut off his head. Or maybe she thought it was too ridiculous to even answer. He was never sure with Anna, as it seemed her sense of humor always came with a catch.
He continued to pace around, for lack of anything to do, moving around had helped him keep his head on his shoulder and this seemed like a good opportunity to see if the technique actually worked. There was the threat, which only made him fidget in his steps.
Arceus, FUCK HER.
"You wanna know why? I did it for the money. He offered to pay, it was a nice sum for something so simple. I need the money, it's not like I have some rich benefactor to leech off from, things I can't steal, food to eat, liquor to buy. Plus I got to get in the house without fear of capture, how about that, huh huh huh? Good deal. OTHER THAN THE PART WHEN I COULD'VE DIED, BUT PLANS DON'T ALWAYS GO SMOOTHLY, HMMMM~" He added a tone of whimsy by the end, voice quickly escalating, suddenly haughty as he drove that point right into her face.
Dull eyes narrowed as he expanded his tangent. Of course. Money. She would expect nothing less. "I told you you were greedy." A crooked smile, void of meaning, managed to work its way on her features, the bitter humor stinging her more than she preferred to allow.
'I didn't like the way he was treating you.'
Everything was just a giant lying plot device, wasn't it? Anna couldn't help but feel the tear in her facade as the words worked their way into crevices, filling in the gaps that she had tried to block off, to no avail. "You would lie to me on your deathbed." It was irrelevant from his point, if only he understood her context. She shouldn't have felt so broken up about the whole thing. What part of her ever allowed her to believe that things were not as they were? So painfully obvious. She would keep pointing that out to herself.
"You could still die. You never had a plan. The money will vanish eventually. THEN WHAT WILL YOU DO? GO BACK TO BEING SOME DYING STREET RAT, SUCKING ON APPLE CORES AND BEER BOTTLES TO LIVE?"
Oops. She cleared her throat, shaken up now. This was all a horrible idea.
"Only finding satisfaction taking the things humans are proud of. All of it will lead you down a pit. You'll find yourself at the rock bottom of the food chain, starving for another drop of something you would waste in a second. If only you hadn't ruined everything for yourself."
She was saying too much. She was pushing it. She was doing what Fernando would do to her.
He made a noise that sounded somewhere between a whine a snarl. Why had she even felt the need to remind him of that night? To make him feel guilty? As if that wasn't eating at him already but the anger was a lot more apparent that whatever shame he felt.
"I had a pla- THERE IS A PLAN." He felt the need to bring it to the present tense. He was floundering, still unsure of what she wanted from him. Needless to say, it was unsettling. "Oh, don't worry your pretty little head about me, this job pays a lot more than you think. I've got my silver stacked up nicely." He said curtly, biting at his lower lip, though her words had hit their mark. Even he knew his occupation was less than stable, and sooner or later he would be even more jobless than he already was. But to be told off so bluntly.... SHIT! HE WAS NOT GOING BACK TO BEER.
"Who knew you cared so much." He said out of spite, burying his face in his hands as he rubbed them over his eyes in mental exhaustion. "Why are you here anyway? You have yet to divulge that part." He asked aloud, peering at her with one eye from behind his hands. "If you're just here to feel worse about myself, then you did it, congratulations, give yourself a pat on the back and head out the door please."
"Bad plan." The curt answer would be all it took to get her point across as she stared at him. With her head pounding like it was, she wasn't in any mood to get into another screaming match. She doubted the calm, yet tense, discussion would carry on much longer without added screams.
"I'm not worried about you. I have no reason to be. You stack your silver to knock it down like a child with a sand castle."
She was frowning again, her arms crossed now as she leaned on the door frame, her weight shifting to one leg. If only Azel would learn from his mistakes. If only he wouldn't fuck up so much. I guess we have more in common than we care to admit.
"I don't care."
Sharp and quick this time. Anna wouldn't allow him to believe false ideas. Opinions changed. Bridges burned.
"I thought I would be coming to finish killing you. Walking in I decided you could do it yourself."
Ever-honest Anna.
"Don't think I'll be apologizing. Placing false ideas in your head would only be detrimental to your health."
So maybe she was there to make him feel bad. Why didn't she feel content? Was she really expecting some kind of apology from him? Anna hesitated, finally, phrasing questions in her head.
"Were we ever friends, or did he pay- ..." No, she still refused to admit Fernando was the culprit. "Or was that false, too?"
"I'll stack em up like Lego, thank you very much. And I think you do care." He said with an air of confidence, gestured towards her and kept that frown expectant of words to rebuke him. "Otherwise, why take notice of my weaknesses if you haven't taken advantage of them yet."
He paused, suddenly laughter pouring from his mouth. "Hehehehehehehehe!! HAHAHAHAHA! EVENTUALLY I WILL, NO DOUBT." He panted, still giggling, taking in deep breaths. "Weird, you remind me of my brother when you say that." It almost sounded like a pained conclusion.
The man straightened up at that, eyes suddenly narrowed at the accusation. ".... How long do you even think I know Fernando? And how long do I know you? You figure it out. Doesn't it sound like a bit too much trouble for just a job?"
"Because I'm not Fernando. Your weaknesses are irrelevant to my argument." She shrugged at him. Perhaps the truth was harder to realize than she would have originally imagined. She hadn't stopped to think about Azel's weaknesses, yet she had already used them against him to win an argument. In other words, she had lied right to his face.
It was quite unfortunate that she didn't fully realize her error.
Anna frowned at the laughter, posture straightening as if she was preparing to defend herself. "I never knew your brother," was the only intelligible response she could muster, the shock of his change in attitude putting a temporary stop to her train of thought. She knew he had been-- was, a ranger. She hadn't been around there too long.
"I don't know," the answer was simple enough, but her frown could only deepen as he proceeded. Perhaps he didn't realize that friendship did not include betrayal. "Not if you're desperate for the money. It's becoming obvious you would rather wallow in your success than keep your acquaintances. What better do you have to do than feign friendships and build bridges only to burn them down for your satisfaction?"
"You knew where I was, wouldn't it have been easier to let some rangers take care of me? I still think you do care, and you try so hard not to let it show. There's nothing wrong with actually caring. It's only dumb when it gets you killed." Honestly, he wasn't even sure she cared for Fernando, the two had some weird dynamic that he just couldn't place, certainly there was more to the 'master and slave' personas they place on when together. A curious matter for the young man.
He huffed. "I'd be more surprised if you did. I'm sure you two would've gotten along, considering you both have the same resentments against me."
He groaned, another sweep of his palms over his face in an exasperated motion. "It was one job, I didn't think you'd actually try to kill. Plus, didn't I already tell you I'd actually like to keep the smart portion of the population around to talk with?" Pinching in between his eyes, he looked stood with one hand on his hip. "You want to know why? It's because... I wanted to see if you actually still had...A heart."
"Rangers are incompetent tools made for children." The answer would have been considered a snap, had Anna been known to lose her temper in her words so easily. "Sending them here would only be rubbing their faces in the shit at their doorstep. Johto is a mess." She also wasn't known to speak so casually.
"Wouldn't that encourage you to change?" It was obvious his lack of motives confused her; why not fix what could be repaired instead of only making it worse?
She would keep a relaxed posture and a plain expression as he spoke, her indifference breaking for a moment, only so her brow could furrow. "It's not about killing you. It's about betrayal." Oh, what a familiar feeling. Everyone stabbed each other's back in the end, it would seem. "Keeping the intelligence is one matter. Keeping it around you is another. You failed to do the latter."
And then he would decide to throw her through another loop. How painfully exhausting. "I would be dead without one."
Make a few rangers pissed? Sounded like a good plan. "They should feel like shit, it's their oh-so-duty isn't it? They failed didn't they, this- " He motioned around in the wreck around them. "-is a testament to it.That's what happens when they try to get into other's people business." He hated the rangers, it was more than the resentment of their opposite spectrum, and perhaps a little bit of dislike from his brother had help as well.
"...If someone told you to just-" What was a good example? "Sit around in a farm, tend to pokemon, water the crops and whatever other boring crap, would you do it? If someone told you to change who you are, would you?" There was challenge in his voice, to say otherwise.
Brows knitted together as he listened. True, he had betrayed what flimsy trust there had been between them, as he had seen, or rather hoped, that the outcome would've been different from their previous meeting. "I screwed around, that's what I do." He answered with a shrug, and kicked at the ground. "It was a good test, I think he would think the same. Except that we were hoping for different things." He had hoped that, stupid as it was, that she would have shown compassion to him, and defend him. Obviously it hadn't reached that point, and instead it had turned into a sour case completely.
He shook his head, another frustrated motion at the ground, as he finally took steps towards her, stopping short to make sure that if she had any weapons he'd still be able to get away. "You KNOW what I mean. You've been growing colder, Anna, and you had already turned cold to begin with. You've started to think like him, you're beginning to think that it's normal to be like that."
Of course, the implication would be that if her boss told her to lead a farm life, she would. No questions asked. He had a point though, and Anna would accept that. "I wouldn't expect you to." End of discussion.
She couldn't help but feel a second surge of anger course through her-- he really didn't get it, did he? "Screwed around?" there was a snarl in her voice, a rare characteristic she would prefer to leave out of her speech. Never show them your feelings. It was a law, and she was breaking it. "Did it ever once occur to you the consequences that those- that I would have to suffer? Of course not. You're greedy. You're stupid. You're selfish. You don't give a single shit what happens because you wanted to screw around."
Anna hadn't realized she had been yelling. She hadn't realized her chest was heaving. She hadn't realized she was so close to snapping what should of been her invincible breaking point. Not that the realization would stop her. She was already going, why slam everything to a halt so soon?
"Don't fucking dare tell me what he would think."
Her hand had moved to her waist. When had she taken a hold of the switch blade? Anna paused, tearing her eyes away from the metal to glare at the raven-haired teen, her scowl set into stone.
"Give me your definition of normal then, Azel. Give me your definition of cold. Tell me how it feels to be whatever you think is warm."
"Yeah, you only follow his words." Part of his resentment for Fernando was the fact that, no matter how much he tried to deny it, he knew that the other man had the most power over Anna, mentally and influence-wise. And so long as Fernando was nearby, there would be no way to reach for Anna.
He only stood to take her words, silently staring as her voice rose. Consequences? To hell with consequences, he only ever cared about the results of certain scenarios, and never the negatives that would surely arise from haphazard decisions. Part of him felt that what she was saying was true, the other part was just happy that he could get her angry like this, even though it did cause him a bit of discomfort to only ever incite such emotions from her. He could only fidget on his spot, tight frown hiding the sick satisfaction he felt for making her mad.
"He hasn't explained, has he? And I bet he never will. And you would never question him enough for him to tell you, would you?" His voice sounded oddly quiet after Anna's yelling, the raven feeling solemn for once, or at least until she motioned for her weapon. He practically jumped backwards, nearly tripping over a bit of debris on the floor. Steadying himself, he looked like a cornered Rattata ready to bolt from the scene, half-hunched, legs bent in case he needed to flee. Yeah, it was probably a bad idea even trying to get closer to her at this point.
"Being unfeeling, numb to the world around you, that's what cold is. You're a human being, not some programmable robot for someone else's pleasure, you have the right to feel happy, to feel sad, to feel whatever the fuck you want. You don't have to follow what he says, this is like... Fucking marxism for crying out loud." He stressed, shifting from foot to foot. He was scared, scared that she retort with something like she needed him to survive, or perhaps this was her choice all along. Because then it would mean he would have lost for good, if she had ended with that conclusion then she was gone from his reach.
Arguing with that statement would be worse than lying to him-- not that she was completely against the idea at this point, but when both of them knew what complete bullshit any denial would be, the attempt seemed useless. Anna would accept it with grace; she was not ashamed.
In all honesty she had expected him to retaliate, already having braced herself for a second onslaught of his screaming. The tone he did produce was enough for her to let the temporary shield down, and keep the stony, ice-coated one up. "I don't pry into his business. He does what he does. It's all for the better, in the end. " came the sharp, quick reply. "Perhaps you should start looking for the bigger picture. You would be surprised." Azel might have backed down but she would keep applying pressure until he burst. If only Lafayette could take part in the fun. She kept a firm grip on the cold handle, the silent urge nagging her to simply aim for his heart. Anna would ignore it, but temptation was irritating.
"I can feel fine, and I'm quite aware of what I am. If I didn't want to follow his orders, I would have killed myself by now," the crooked smile didn't suit her features, her general character. Anna was not known to smirk. Today seemed to be a day to defy the odds. "I listen to him because I want to. Because I like it. He's done more for me than you could ever imagine."
For once, she felt like the predator. It was a glorifying feeling that wouldn't last outside of Azel's walls, but it was enough to give her the surge of power she had been craving since her capture into the slave trade. Leaving so soon would be a damn travesty. She didn't care if she had been brainwashed or not.
"What big picture? You think this is some huge staged action film, and we're just waiting for an explosion to cue the end of the world? No Anna, this is fucking real life, and the only person that matters is yourself. You would take a shot to the head for him, and he would only think you're still a disappointment. He abuses you, and you think he has the right to. That is not what a human being should think, should feel." He was beginning to get frantic, the more he talked, the more apparent it was.
And of course, there was that punchline, or rather the line he had hoped he would never hear. He blinked at what she said, mouth open as he panted, grasped for words that didn't come. Because what could he say to that? She had made her choice, she had her mindset, it wasn't as if he could just tell her what to do. He wasn't him, he didn't have such power.
His stare became more and more crazed, uncertainty and something rabid becoming apparent. "We're not friends anymore, but then again you never thought we were." He muttered dryly, straightening up. "You should leave."
She would remain calm this time around, he tone smoothing nicely in the short period she gave herself to calm down. The obvious self control would have been threatening, had she not exploded only moments ago.
"It wouldn't matter what he would think. I'd be dead."
She wouldn't deny the fact; it was too true to disguise.
"A human being shouldn't be broken, living in a broken house in a broken place. Hypocrisy is frowned upon just as much as lying. You are in no position to tell me my faults. It's not abuse if it makes me stronger."
An uneasy feeling would settle within her as she kept her eyes locked on his, waiting for any signs of aggression. It was a look she hadn't seen in him before, and if she were being completely honest, it scared her. Of course, she would never give that hint. "I know."
It was a good window. She was done here. The room felt colder, and she despised the unpredictable. Anna would not turn her back, instead walking out the door while keeping an eye on the teen.
"Good bye."
[ you don't have to reply, but if you want to go for it 8U ]